galactic cafe

Game of the Year

February 21, 2014

Hmmm......I'm trying to figure out a good way to put this.

Basically here's what happened: after the launch of Stanley Parable, I became a bit depressed. Largely this is because in those months, SO much attention was directed at the game and at me personally. And while I could not even begin to put into words how utterly grateful and astonished and humbled I am by the enormous response to Stanley Parable (all of you are the reason I can now devote my life to this kind of work), those months after launch were intensely intensely stressful.

People don't just play your game and then shut up, they'll come back to you in force and really let you know how it made them feel. The vast majority of the response to stanley was extremely positive, some of it was also extremely negative. I had emails from people who told me I had forever changed the way they saw the world, emails from people who wanted me to know I was a spineless coward who should hate himself, emails from people asking for advice and for tech support and to look at their work and just talk about what they'd been up to, emails from fans and journalists asking over and over and over and over and over where the idea for the game came from, until the answers to those questions simply became stock and lost their meaning and even I began to lose track of where the idea had actually come from. Thousands of people asking you to carry some amount of weight for them, to hear them, to talk to them, to tell them that things are going to be okay, to not turn them away. I tried, I did the best I knew how to do, but after a certain point the many little requests added up and their collective weight broke my back. I couldn't do it any more. I couldn't talk to more people. I couldn't continue to use other peoples' opinions of myself to feel good about myself and about my work. Every time I turned to someone else's opinion of the game, I felt less sure of my own opinion of it. I began to forget why I liked the game. I was losing the thing I had created.

So I withdrew. I basically checked out of the world, told people "I'm just gonna be by myself for a while." I had never done that before. I spent a few months not really talking to anyone. It was lonely, but it was nice.

Then toward the end of 2013, news outlets begin releasing their Game of the Year awards, and Stanley Parable is back in the spotlight. Suddenly the personal requests start flooding back in again. Suddenly I am the object of peoples' emotional baggage again. The GotY awards did not cause me to be depressed, they simply unearthed a depression I had been harboring and trying to bury since the launch of the game. But for whatever inexplicable reason, I felt depressed and anxious again. (part of what made the depression worse was that being given awards actually did not help me feel any better. "Is something wrong with me??" one tends to ask in a situation like this)

So: to help myself better understand and isolate the feeling of depression around the GotY awards, I wrote and drew a comic to explain what I had been feeling. It was simply the best expression I had for the thoughts and emotions that were running through my head at the time at the time, I just wanted to put it into some words to help make it less nebulous and unknowable. I wanted something I could hold in front of myself and say "This. This is what I am experiencing." It's nice to get it out of your head.

So I finished the comic, and read back over it, and thought to myself "There's no way I can post this online."

The point of the comic was purely just to clarify that financial and critical success does not simply make your insecurities go away. If you were insecure about other peoples' opinions of you and addicted to praise in order to feel good about yourself, the dirty truth is that there is no amount of praise you can receive that will make that insecurity goes away. What fire dies when you feed it?

But if I go posting on the internet about how awful I felt receiving all these Game of the Year awards, no one is going to take that seriously. "Oh, yeah, we get it, real rough life you've got there. Sounds pretty miserable to be loved for your art. Maybe go cry about it into a pile of money?" And then of course I'm back in the problem I was trying so hard to avoid in the first place, where I'm stressing out about peoples' opinions of me and forgetting simply to feel good about myself. I want to be able to like myself and my work, but it becomes SIGNIFICANTLY harder once people on the internet start asking you to feel ashamed of yourself. It's really really hard to ignore.

So either I share this thing that is simply True, that is a representation of what I actually felt at this time, and risk being shamed for it, or I hide it away and continue to pretend that success means you never feel shitty about anything ever again in your life.

I'm going to post it here, but I also decided to write this preamble to contextualize it. If you do decide to read the comic, all I can ask is that you enter into it open-mindedly. You may not agree with or understand my feelings, but I guarantee you they are True, they are what I felt at that time. If you've read this and still think to yourself "oh come on, this guy can't be serious, there's no way that receiving game of the year awards would cause anyone to feel upset," then I'd perhaps tell you that it's unlikely that the rest of this post will convince you, and maybe now would be a good time to stop reading?

Obviously you get to do whatever you want, that's how this creator/audience thing works, and no matter what happens I'll be fine. But I want to stress that the weight I have carried is real and it is heavy. And despite my trepidation about posting this online, I really do want to share it with you. I want to be able to show you this weight, to put you in my head. I am compelled to. It is just in my blood. I have no other explanation. Thank you for joining me.



Video monetization

October 21, 2013

I, Davey Wreden, founder of Galactic Cafe, give full permission for anyone to record, stream, and upload any videos of our games (including Stanley Parable) to anywhere on the internet, and to monetize these videos with ads. No need to ask our permission, go forth, and cultivate revenue. Sow the seeds of your own financial viability. Monetize, and all is right with the world.

Signed,
Davey Wreden
Galactic Cafe
October 22, 2013

The Stanley Parable Demo and Release Date!

October 10, 2013

It's finally here!
The Stanley Parable will launch on October 17!!

(holy crap am I reading that correctly?)

So here's what it means: Today we have launched a demo for the Stanley Parable. The demo is a completely spoiler-free experience meant simply to help you understand the style and tone of the full game without giving away any of its secrets. It is free and you can play it right this minute on the game's official Steam store page. WE HOPE YOU LOVE IT! <3

It's the beginning of the end. In one week, this crazy adventure comes to a close. For now let's enjoy a nice, simple demo and reflect on what, if anything, it all means. THANKS EVERYONE FOR ALL OF YOUR LOVE AND SUPPORT YOU ARE THE BEST!!!


The final door awaits...

Animal Crossing: New Leaf and a New Proposal

August 6, 2013

Even though I'm an avid fan of Animal Crossing games, I tend to quit each of them in a frustrated huff, wanting to appreciate them for their beauty and peacefulness but utterly worn down by the design of the systems. The games keep telling me "just hang out! Live a happy life! Enjoy the flowers, maaaaaaan!" But what I'm actually doing in the long term is isolating the few actions that are most profitable (in that they produce either money or new furniture for my house) and then repeating those exact actions over and over and over and over until I quit each of them in a frustrated huff. The end game always becomes an exercise in tedium.

So I bought New Leaf, eager to see whether this iteration's new additions would mitigate the feeling that I'm climbing an infinite ladder whose every rung is made of chores. And while it does a great number of really fantastic things to create an actual sense of progression and evolution over time, unfortunately in my opinion it falls back into the same bad habits as its ancestors did.

LET'S CRITICALLY ANALYSE!!!!

The most engaging part of Animal Crossing is, in my opinion, creation. And in New Leaf, there are two things I most love to create: 1) new furniture layouts in my house and 2) new Public Works projects. The only reliable way to get new furniture is to return to the shops every day for a routine visit (see: infinite ladder of chores). Public Works projects are quite different, a fascinating addition to the Animal Crossing formula where you can purchase and place new landmarks in your town, lights, buildings, utilities, bridges, the variety of upgradeable items is huge. All of them cost money, and many of them cost LOTS of money. There are a small number of ways to reliable earn LOTS of money, among them: fishing, picking fruit, playing the stock market. The first two are nothing but repetition, and the third (as with shopping for furniture) simply requires that you show up every single day to go check prices.

Now putting it all together: In order to effectively gain new furniture and public works projects to dress up my town, every day I must turn on the game, go to the shops to see what's being sold, go to the other shop to check turnip prices, dig up fossils to sell, pick all the fruit, go fishing. The less frequently I do these chores the longer it will take me to get the building blocks to start making stuff, so since I want more building blocks I do all of these tasks every single day, spending a considerable amount of real world time doing so.

In short: The real currency of Animal Crossing is time spent in the game.

The more time you spend in Animal Crossing, the more stuff you get. The tasks are not particularly difficult or engaging, they just require you to be there and to mash the A buttons like crazy trying to get the text to scroll faster. Because of that, I feel more hesitant to spend additional time actually decorating my town with the stuff I've acquired since, well, I don't have an infinite amount of time to spend on games. Is it clear that I'm making stupid decisions about how to spend my time in the first place? Absolutely. But Animal Crossing started it.

It doesn't have to be this way. Here is my proposal:

What if rather than "time spent in game" as currency, "time spent away from the game" was currency. Imagine this: You want a new public works project, a lamppost. You go to Isabelle, your assistant, and tell her you want a lamppost. There's no way to purchase the lamppost, instead she goes "great, I'll start petitioning the magic orchid in the sky." You go about your life, doing whatever it is that you do, every now and then you can stop by to see Isabelle making a blood sacrifice to the magic orchid in the sky, and then in 3 days, regardless of how much of that time you spent in game, Isabelle tells you the sacrifice was successful and where would you like to put your new lamppost. Now not only have I gotten the new lamppost, but because I've taken time away from my town, I'm eager to come back to it and start shaping it in a new direction! Now I take a dedicated chunk of time and sit down to figure out how to incorporate this new item into my city.

Or perhaps I can let them accumulate, I check in every now and then to have Isabelle make more blood sacrifices in exchange for a new park bench, a cafe, a playground and a fanciful giant clock. 2 and a half weeks have gone by, I now sit down to really flesh out this town of mine, so be thoughtful and precise because I don't feel burnt out on catching fish all day. Plus, because fishing/bug hunting/fruit picking no longer have this extrinsically motivating factor, I have more space simply to appreciate them for their intrinsic values, to focus on the task of fishing itself rather than how much money I'll make from it. The more that money is a reward for my actions, the less I care about the actions themselves.

Or how about this! What if you didn't know how long a certain item was going to take to build, Isabelle just says "I'unno, this could take a while." Then at some point between 2 days and 2 years later, the little light on the top of your 3DS pings like this: "PING." You go "ooh! it's done!" Now you're not counting days until the next thing is finished, you're just along for the ride and being surprised by the opportunity to create something new.

Or what if rather than specifying exactly what you're gonna get, you indicate in the general direction of what you want, and a random amount of time later you get something that fits your guidelines. Now you're not purchasing new upgrades so much as you're subtly influencing the direction of your town, like guiding a horse or conducting a symphony. Now public works projects become surprising, strange, unknowable, I want to keep checking in to unravel the mystery but I don't have to check in EVERY SINGLE DAY in order to do so.

In essence, to have less overall playtime, but for that play time to be more creative and more thoughtful.

This is a design philosophy centered around my own personal desire to have small amounts of very meaningful gameplay. If you want people to pump a fuckton of hours into your game, well maybe just erase the last 5 paragraphs from your mental design toolset. Personally, I would rather the game respect my time, to recognize that playing the game is a choice and not an obligation, to thank me for choosing to play by showing me something surprising and magical. The more deeply I own the choice to participate, the less I feel my hand is being forced, the more intensely I am able to open up my heart to whatever I am experiencing.

Extreme Game Development – we make a game in 30 minutes

July 1, 2013

Observe, as the creators of The Stanley Parable create an entirely new game...in 30 minutes. It's a harrowing experience, full of action, tension, love, loss, and then back to tension again.

ENJOY!

A few words on the seduction community and my participation in it

June 21, 2013

In 2011, while in college, I spent about 6 months actively reading and participating in what is referred to as the Seduction Community (I think “seduction” is a terrible word for this community but since it’s the word everyone knows it by I’ll use it in this post). In particular I spent a lot of time on Reddit’s Seduction forum. I left when I felt that I was looking for something that this community could no longer provide.

I’m writing this post because of a recent outrage over a seduction book being funded on Kickstarter (the campaign, though successful, has been removed from Kickstarter). I know nothing about this book, I don’t intend to justify or qualify it, that’s not what this post is about. However, in the wake of this controversy I’ve seen a lot of anger and shaming directed at the seduction community, which is what I would like to address. If you continue to read this post, all I can ask is that you set aside any preconceptions you may have about the seduction community and the people who participate in it.

For my entire life I’ve experienced terrible anxiety around women I’m attracted to. Seeing someone I found attractive evoked less “fear” and more “complete and total emotional shutdown.” Rather than attempting to express myself around women, I began denying that I had any interest in women in the first place. It was easier to suppress my instincts than deal with the muscle-paralyzing terror of having to flirt with them (something that society told me was cool for guys to do). It wasn’t until my body told me loud and clear that I was fooling myself and that I actually do have a sex drive that I decided to do something about it.

For a guy in this position, who actively wants to better himself, there are few outlets that are both socially acceptable and actually useful. For example, if you go to your friends about this, they’ll tell you “just be yourself! Just be natural and genuine!” or “you’re so funny, any woman would love to be with you!” For someone in my situation these suggestions were about as useful as it would be to tell a depressed person simply to “lighten up” or to “look on the bright side of life.”

I wanted an action, I wanted something I could go out and specifically begin doing, something intended to cut through my incredible fear. Although my friends were very supportive, none of them could relate on a level to offer useful advice.

And oh, look at this, if you just go onto reddit, there is an entire forum of people there who are specifically practicing the art of socializing! These are people like me, with an incredible fear of meeting women who are attempting to work through that fear! And not only do many of them seem to have gotten quite good at it, they’re just here for me to talk to and ask advice from! For free!! This was not a dating service, it was other people over the internet who wanted me to be a better socializer and to conquer my fears! Holy crap!!

So this is where the context has to be laid, because the seduction community is granular. Like almost any community it is populated by a variety of people with a variety of needs and interests. Everyone sees themselves in the things they seek out, and seduction offered many different things to many different people.

For example, many people came to the seduction community purely just seeking sex. They would ask specifically about how to get laid and post the stories of when they did get laid. I found my interests particularly at odds with theirs since the actual act of sex was less important to me than simply being able to socialize in a healthy way. So, like in any community, you acknowledge that those people are there but you don’t invest a lot of energy in them.

But then there were the people like me, who wanted to master expressing themselves genuinely with women, men, people in general. People who, like me, had been terrified of women their whole lives and who just wanted to be good people. People who, like me, could not ignore that their bodies were asking for something their brains didn’t know how to provide.

I met many of these people in person. They look and act like any perfectly lovely person you’d meet at a party or over dinner with a mutual friend or work with at the office. I became good friends with some of them not over a shared love of getting laid but just because I liked them. We supported each other, we pushed each other to go out and practice socializing, we cheered one another one when a crippling social fear was shattered.

But there are people in the seduction community who I did not have this relationship with because they wanted something different than I did. Their primary goal was sex, being a leader of women, being socially dominant, and a whole range of other things (everyone brings something different to the table). Sometimes these needs were expressed in a healthy way, other times they were borne of insecurity and anger. And unfortunately, the low hanging fruit is easiest to latch onto. Whenever someone from the community made a flagrantly misogynistic/insecure remark, that remark is what the rest of the world latched onto and thus associated everyone else in the community with. I became afraid to tell my friends what I was doing because I didn’t want to have that stigma attached to me.

The same people who wanted me to be more socially expressive then went and shamed the community that offered me the one viable outlet for doing so.

A few weeks ago I was at a party and mentioned to a girl I had just met that I made video games, to which she responded “oh I don’t like video games.” I probed further and it turned out she had played and loved Flower, but she didn’t think of it as a game because to her video games were this monolithic culture of shooters, violence, and men. Because she latched onto the most alienating element of video game culture she completely missed the incredibly expressive, artistic, and beautiful parts of that culture.

If you’re reading this you’re probably a part of the video game culture, which means you’ve probably at some point been lumped in with other video gamers you don’t identify with as a part of “video game culture,” but of course it doesn’t work like that. Many people like many kinds of games and come to the culture for many reasons. Are some of these reasons unhealthy and insecure? Absolutely. But by not acknowledging the granularity of this community we end up suppressing the people on the margin who do have something very expressive they’re trying to communicate.

(to clarify, I do believe that there are ways of being extremely sexually assertive without being disrespectful toward women or encouraging rape. It's a fine line that is not easily conveyed in a short and simple explanation, but that's an entirely different conversation)

My intention with this blog post is not to excuse or qualify any of the actions of anyone in the seduction community who has caused harm to women, perpetuated rape culture, or influenced other to behave in an insecure or disrespectful way. Yes, those people exist. I simply want this to be a reminder that from outside any given community, the most surface and inflammatory aspects of that community tend to be the ones latched onto first, and that a more critical examination always reveals something more intricate and granular. It reveals that these people are just people with the same needs and fears as everyone else. Saying that “the seduction community preaches ____” is an active dismissal of the people who that community who were in it for reasons other than ___.

I did come to understand that interacting with women I was attracted to meant being honest with them, genuine, knowing myself well enough to be able to wear myself vulnerably on my sleeve wherever I went. To step into the things that scare me because they make me stronger, they make me a better person. And as I become a better person, I can make other people better as well, and this is how I wish to socialize, by making others better.

I could not have known this if I had not gone out to a bar to pick up women to understand why it had no interest to me. I could not have known this if I had not read a lot of forum posts from people who only wanted sex and decided I wanted something else. I could not have known this without a reference point around which to orient myself.

I stopped going on the seduction forums when I felt I had nothing more to learn. It became more energy than it was worth to distinguish between the healthy advice and the unhealthy. As with my entire academic life, I felt I gained far more by experiencing the kind of things I didn’t want to learn than the things I did. But that education was important, and laid the groundwork for discovering how I actually did want to express myself. There was a lot of bad, but I needed it to point me in the right direction.

You might know people who have been or want to be a part of the seduction community because there’s something that feels incomplete in their lives and they need a guide that will get them somewhere, anywhere away from where they are now. They may be too afraid to admit this to you because you’ve said the seduction community ought to be ashamed of itself. They may feel like they need to hide it from you because they don’t want to be judged. But they’re still looking for something, something that helps them feel more normal, something that will push them through crippling fear, something that will offer a light in what feels like an infinite crippling darkness. These people will make mistakes in the pursuit of that light, and their ability to recognize and manage those mistakes will forge their character for the rest of their lives.

To these people I offer my complete and unconditional love.

New Stanley Parable Website!

June 14, 2013

We've just launched stanleyparable.com! This is where from now on all Stanley Parable related news will go, including the Helpful Development Showcases. Galactic Cafe will be for my personal blog and for any information about other projects.

That is....the end of the information I have for this announcement! Please: go about your day!

Content Complete pt. 1

May 30, 2013

To figure out how much development is left on Stanley Parable, we recently broke the entire game down into five major chunks and began the process of content locking each of those chunks. The idea is to get each one exactly to where we would be happy releasing it, then coming back later for polish if the need be.

Last week we locked down the first of five!

The scope of this game is pretty massive, and most of the heavy lifting is being done by one person. It's taken nearly two years, which is WAY more than I ever imagined I would spend on this thing, but I can finally see the end in sight. We're getting close. Keep in mind we still have quite a bit of work to do, and I can't say exactly when we're planning to be finished, but for the first time in development I actually feel like we're going to release a game. I'm super proud of what we've been doing and I can't wait to show it all to you soon!

</gushing about how awesome you all are for supporting us through this entire development process>

And just to wrap up, here's a little photo of what the office where Stanley works currently looks like:

Stanley Parable Dev Showcase: Pressure

May 29, 2013

The Stanley Parable Helpful Development Showcase is our way of connecting you to the development of The Stanley Parable by giving you a small look at what's been going on behind the scenes. Each week we'll give you a tiny peek into what it takes to make a game like The Stanley Parable, the creative challenges we come up against in the course of development, and how to not judge yourself as a person for the quality of choices you've made in your own life. These are just a few of the topics we'll cover in this incredibly useful blog series.

This week: How not to give into pressure

As a highly-recognized celebrity game developer, I'm under constant pressure from the people around me to modify and make additions to my game simply to serve their own needs. These are people who think only of themselves and have little or not consideration for Art. They might not even know what Art means!

If you came to this blog to find out what Art means, let me point you to this excerpt from Dictionary.com:

This definition is what I turn to whenever I'm uncertain about the quality of my work. It gives me the strength I need to shoot down other peoples' opinions mercilessly.

Let's look at one example of how I respond to pressure from the public to steer the direction of Stanley Parable one way or the other. Here's a screenshot from the game's Greenlight page:

See how I got all excited and acted as though I was going to use Smithy's idea?

That's because I did. It's in the game.

It's a great idea.

I'm not going to turn down great ideas.

Here's another example of the tough-love attitude you have to take when members of the public try to get their dirty fingers all over your creation.

Obviously this one is also going in.

The guy sounds passionate about squid. Don't you see it in his words? In his words between the words? He isn't just asking me to put squid in the game, he's telling me that for him, squid IS the game. Will he play this game and see anything but squid? Or rather, can he look at a squid and see anything but The Stanley Parable? I can't answer that question, nor do I intend to. All I can do is bring this young boy's dream to life.

Here's another example of a suggestion from the public:

Mr. Foots needs to be in this game.

The Stanley Parable needs Mr. Foots.

Mr. Foots the mathematical wizard, deconstructor of numbers, of the universe. He who sees it from all angles, who can manipulate the fabric of time to his will.

Why is he so tall? Did he choose this height or was it forced on him? Will he ever be shorter? Does he measure himself in inches or in quarter-inches? These are the kinds of unanswerable questions that get to the root of what Stanley Parable is all about.

Mr. Foots is an enigma, he sees without seeing, he knows without knowing. He is everywhere and nowhere. Is it a stretch to say that he IS the stanley parable? No, no it is not. No stretching required.


Hm....

These suggestions from fans, they're so pure, so genuine...it's like they know my own game better than I do...

Once again, I turn to the public for help:

Slowly, in response to my request for ideas, a cohesive picture of what The Stanley Parable should be begins to emerge:

I include all of these suggestions and more, and already the game feels much more cohesive. I can tell it's coming together now, it's got life to it.

But it's still missing something.

I turn to the only real source of wisdom any of us have in our lives.

Minutes later, I get an email back:

At last, hope! Could this response hold the answers I've been looking for?

Eagerly, I go to Dictionary.com and pull up the definition of Art:

He got me again! I've fallen for that one too many times.

So perhaps all of my questions haven't been answered, but that's okay. Sure, there are times when I'm uncertain of my work and doubtful of my abilities, but it's probably healthy to be at least a little bit skeptical of yourself. Otherwise how would I be able to accept when my work isn't up to par? That's why I keep good friends and community close at hand, to keep me in check and watch my back. It's these friends who guide me ever on that eternal voyage toward completely genuine and intensely vulnerable artistic expression.

I'm gonna go get a picture of Mr. Foots tattooed to my forehead.

The Stanley Parable Dev Showcase: Hidden Meaning

May 15, 2013

The Stanley Parable Helpful Development Showcase is our way of connecting you to the development of The Stanley Parable by giving you a small look at what's been going on behind the scenes. Each week we'll give you a tiny peek into what it takes to make a game like The Stanley Parable, the creative challenges we come up against in the course of development, and how to not judge yourself as a person for the quality of choices you've made in your own life. These are just a few of the topics we'll cover in this incredibly useful blog series.

Noel I. of Michigan writes:

tits

Unbelievable.

It took a full year and a half, since the original release of The Stanley Parable in 2011, but someone finally got it. Someone finally understands what The Stanley Parable is truly about.

Let me back up and explain, and I'll walk you through the secret meaning behind TSP that Noel has uncovered. This post will contain spoilers for the original Stanley Parable.

Two choices. One will save you, one will kill you.

Or is that the full story?

Because no matter which door you take, there is always death waiting down some corridor, always some gruesome fate toward which the Narrator will guide you. And then, no matter how you die, you are returned to the start. Reborn.

You are a baby, returned to the womb. And when you emerge, what do you find?

Your mother's teats, each one promising you sustenance, nutrition, life.

Or at least, that's how it's supposed to go.

Because in this world, no matter what you choose you are led once again back to the grave. Simply by choosing a door, by drinking the milk from your mother's breasts, you are doomed to die over and over and over again.

Why? Perhaps because her breasts have been corrupted by the influence of the male in this story, the Narrator. Patriarchy oppresses, it denies the woman her say, her role. No matter how she participates in this world, her child is taken from her and condemned to die. Is the Narrator your father? Perpetually attempting to wrest control of the fate of the family away from the mother? I didn't say that, you did.

When you are confronted by the crushers, and a female Narrator steps in to speak, she warns Stanley. She knows the truth, she has seen what society does to women. No matter which door, which breast Stanley chooses, he is doomed. The only option is to leave this world, as she says, “push escape and press quit.”

But is there an escape?

Down one path is a hole in the ground.

Entering into the hole, for the first time, places the Narrator at a distance, he loses his influence. And at the end of a tunnel of blackness you emerge into...

The original office, except with no Narrator. A world without man, without the patriarchal oppression. Here Stanley can once again access the two doors, but he is not forced down either path. Free to choose, to be with his mother, drink her milk, free from society.

The black hole that led to this freedom...was it a vagina? Does escape lie in the female body itself? Again, just repeating your words.

The bookcase doesn't mean anything.

Which door will you choose? And does it matter? Whichever breast you drink the life-restoring milk from, are you not simply choosing your own demise? Are you not just validating the institutionalized oppression of women? Simply by having breasts is it expected that one conform to the rigors of a patriarchal society mired in the inevitability of death and rebirth? The Stanley Parable is all of these questions and none of them, one's eternal struggle against oneself, the ruination of a society internally defiled by its own malicious foundation.

Or to put it into a single, all-encapsulating summation:

tits

Thank you Noel. Thank you for giving me the strength to share what The Stanley Parable is really about. I hope this cleared up any and all confusion.